When Life is on Hold

My family was recently gathered around our fire pit on a cool, fall evening, watching the sparks rise in the air as we huddled with our cups of hot coffee. We were celebrating my Mom’s birthday...socially distanced, of course. 

As the evening was winding down, the conversation turned to our canceled trips. It turns out we all had a much-anticipated trip planned in 2020. All were canceled due to the pandemic. Bimini, Paris, and Barbados would all have to wait for another year.

While the conversation was wistful, we all simply acknowledged that it’s just life at this moment. Will those trips happen at all? Yes, someday they will. Just not right now. When? We don’t know.

And such is our life at this moment. We just don’t know. So often in our lives, we’re planning for the future: our goals, dreams, and ambitions are all future events. But during a pandemic, the future appears murky and difficult to envision. How can we set goals if we don’t even know what life will look like in a few days, weeks, or even months? 

It’s like driving through a thick fog where you can only see a few feet in front of you. Making your lights brighter doesn’t help, squinting to see doesn’t help, leaning forward doesn’t help (yes, we do that, in some sort of weird, instinctive way, we seem to feel that being just a few inches closer to the fog will make all the difference!). It’s a white-knuckled ride, right? 

The only way through this journey in the fog is by accepting that we need to slow down because we can only see a few feet in front of us and that’s just how this part of the trip is going to be. 

So here we are, puttering along in thick fog and now the holidays are approaching and everyone in the car is getting even more upset.

“How are we going to do Thanksgiving?

“What do you mean we may have to do Thanksgiving differently???

“What about Christmas?

“Omg, the holidays are going to be so dreary.”

The answer to all of those questions is this: we just don’t know. And right now, some family members are finding that answer unacceptable. They need an answer; some firm ground to stand on.

But we don’t know because we are stuck firmly in the present.

The present can be a very uncomfortable place. It’s a place filled with uncertainty and shifting grounds. You can’t plant your feet anywhere because there’s a good chance it will change, leading to more frustration for you.

With everything shifting and moving, how do we keep our sanity through this?

Here’s what I’m trying to do: keep adapting. That is our superpower. We can change. We can come up with new and creative ways of doing things. Will it be as much fun as our old traditions? Not likely, but it will get us through this challenging time. And if we can find a way to get a few laughs in and have some fun along the way, well then, those will become some of your most deeply cherished moments of 2020.

I also try to keep my expectations low. 

Having trouble losing some weight? Me too! 

Having trouble staying focused? Yep, I’m right there with you. Now, what was I just talking about?

Having trouble sleeping? Feel free to call me at 3 am - I’m probably awake too!

And it’s ok because we’re all stuck in this thick fog. Yes, we’re all on this same, white-knuckled journey going who knows where. Nobody is experiencing an easy ride right now. So if you don’t feel like you’re at the top of your game, then you’re perfectly normal because we don’t either!

And when all else fails, remember that nothing lasts forever and this virus is no exception. There will be a day when we won’t have to wear masks and we can gather in large groups. There will be a day when we can go around the room and give everyone a big hug (I’m predicting a giant hug-fest!). There will even be a day when we can make plans for the future again. That day will come and we will all deeply appreciate it when it finally does.

But for now, just keep inching forward and know that we’re all right there with you!

Want to hear more about how we’re coping with Covid frustrations? Check out this episode we recorded: https://www.womenwhosucceedpodcast.com/podcast/episodes/covid-frustrations-ep026