Success – a favorable or desired outcome

We have asked each WWS podcast guest, “What is your definition of success?”  We have received many definitions and have found each one to be authentic, from service to community to navigating life’s journey with resilience and strength.  So then, what is your definition of success? Here are Christine’s and my definitions of success:

Sandra

The dictionary definition seems specific; however, it is open to subjective interpretation. “A favorable or desired” leaves the outcome to one’s own reading of her state of mind. And therefore, it is an important question to pose to yourself. Once you think about your own personal definition of success, you can start to live your life according to your own definition and not a definition provided by family, friends, or society. If you live by your own definition, measuring success leads you to a personal desired outcome. The choices you make and paths you follow lead you on a journey that fulfills your own aspirations.

So, what is important, the answer to the question, or the examination of your definition? For me, the examination of your definition is essential although a harder task. It is an unending, inward exploration of your values relative to your choices and actions. It is extremely personal and scary to reveal your definition to others.

When Christine suggested we write about our own definition of success for this blog, it took me on a deep inward journey. I did not take this exploration lightly. I did not want to include my past definition or a definition that frustrated my current situation.  I am profoundly grateful for the life I have and the freedoms I enjoy, even if I sometimes complain, flailing around trying to find solid ground and striving to find my purpose. Who doesn’t?

At this time in my life, my definition of success includes my own happiness and the happiness of my family. It includes activities that include providing a safe place to land for all my sons, especially my youngest son with Autism. A balance of keeping him safe and expanding the activities he has demonstrated of interest to him. My definition of success includes using my mind to explore interesting subjects. “I learn a new thing every day.”  As I explore deeper, success to me includes an element of giving to society, crafting a message of support and inspiration for women of all ages. This is my own definition of success.

My definition of success is not open to critique by others. It is not written in stone. It is a definition that allows me to check in regularly to see if my actions and choices agree with my own values and direction. It is interesting to me that my definition of success does not include running a marathon, or being a size 8, although, these are things I often agonize over. But these are elements of society’s definition of success and so therefore, my mind is swamped by them every morning when I step on the scale or I deny myself nutrition and experience hunger. I am not saying that if these are your definition of success that they are invalid outcomes.  However, if they are not in my definition of success, why do I fixate on them? In addition, I am not saying that exercise and losing weight is unimportant to my health, just that by taking mental energy to achieve those outcomes is not included in my definition of success.

I spend much of my energy and my choices to assure my own “outcomes” are favorable. I value those choices and the energy I expend to assure those outcomes. 

Christine

I have been thinking about my definition of success since we started asking this question on our podcast 3 years ago! One could say, I have had a good bit of time to mull this over.

I define success as living a life that is true to yourself and your values. It sounds simpler than it is!

First, we need to reflect on what is true for us. That is not an easy task because frequently we are influenced by other people and society, leaving our true selves and passions buried or pushed aside as we try to satisfy others. We all have many talents and skills, but it does not necessarily mean that those particular activities bring us true joy.

Second, once we are aware of our values, we need to find ways to live in accordance with them which requires a lot of courage and experimenting. In other words, we must try things and learn to be ok with saying, “this one isn’t right for me” and move on. You will know when you find one that fits.

Here’s an example, one of my overarching values is growth. Not only my personal growth but being able to help others grow as well. I find the more I can bring growth opportunities into my life, the more enjoyable life becomes. For me, many moments of flow have emerged from working on projects where I have stretched or challenged myself. And I get just as much enjoyment out of supporting others in their own quests for personal growth.

I think of success as part of an ongoing journey with the goal simply being to keep moving closer to it. With each step forward, the journey becomes that much more enjoyable. Ultimately, I believe that is what we are all going for.